A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR LAZY BLOGGERS from Andrew Hofer: The More Than Zero Bullpen. No longer do we have to toil at our monitors searching for good material. Andrew's doing the dirty work for us! Just pick among the gems and blog away, my friends. Now if he could just do some of my Christmas shopping...
SMART WOMAN, DUMB CRIMINAL: Humorous story in the The Patriot-News about a book shop clerk who presented a would-be robber with a very compelling reason why she wouldn't open her cash register. Erin Moul recounts her story:
Finally, she said, the man came around the back of the counter -- as she backed away toward her purse -- and he said, "I need you to open the cash register.""I was like, 'I don't think so!'" Moul recalled.
She said that when the man repeated his demand, she replied: "No. And I have a really good reason not to open my register. You want to see why?'
"So I pulled out my 9mm and I said, 'Here's why.'"
"I held it up and showed it to him," Moul said, demonstrating by pointing the weapon -- which she said was loaded at the time of the attempted robbery -- at the ceiling. "Then I said, 'Why don't you try robbing somebody who doesn't have a gun?'
"That just freaked him out," said Moul, who has a permit to carry her pistol. "He apologized. He said, 'I'm sorry. Some of my friends put me up to this.'"
It's a funny story, which is put in better perspective by this very sad story of what happened to a New York baby store employee whose purse contained only her wallet.
TEMPLATE CHANGES GALORE! Yes, I spent far too much time mucking about yesterday with styles and tables and even Blogger XML. And I'm sure I've forgotten someone still. But there you have a little gender-revealing photo taken just after eating Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, that look of bliss is the tryptophan kicking in.
Oh, and as Thomas Nephew has been so kind as to note, it's Mrs. Bucher, not Mizz. At the risk of sounding immodest, it's actually Mrs. William A. Bucher. As you might guess, I'm not among the American women as eager to take their husband's name as they are to assume the chador. I don't feel oppressed to bear my husband's family's name anymore than I felt oppressed to wear my grandfather's surname. My maiden name has now happily displaced my former middle name. Our culture is what it is, and I find the solutions to patrilineal naming more unfair or simply confusing than the current tradition. This way we don't have to wait in separate lines to clear customs. And besides, who could resist the chance to be named Bucher, as in die Bucher, books!
SCHEER MADNESS: Breaking new ground in his debut column in The Nation, Robert Scheer argues that the Soviet Union was very, very evil. So very evil that it's ridiculous, really, to claim that Osama bin Laden represents any new level of evil, justifying a new level of curtailment. As Scheer asks,
if the Soviets were not also enemies of civilization, why did Ronald Reagan define them as the "Evil Empire"? Why did his CIA arm Muslim fanatics to wage holy war against godless communism in Afghanistan?If the Soviet leaders were not into "radical evil," why did Reagan insist that we build missile defenses against an enemy he claimed was serious about initiating and winning a nuclear war, despite the inevitable destruction of all modern life? The argument was that Russian communists, like Chinese, Vietnamese and Cuban communists, did not value human life.
What can we expect next, Katha Pollitt arguing that Paula Jones got a raw deal? Has Scheer been watching Fox News? Never fear, this is not a sign of a radical shift in Nation-al policy. It's just Scheer's bizarre way of setting up a dismissal of all the totalitarian threats we've faced since the Second World War.
For if Al-Qeada is no more evil than the Soviet Union, and only a fool like Reagan would think the Worker's Paradise an "evil empire," then really we have nothing to fear from radical Islamic militants. And obviously no extra precautions need to be taken to stop them. Quod erat demonstrandum.
But Scheer is quite wrong to think Osama bin Laden no worse than the Soviet Union. The Soviets did not respect the lives of millions of people, the record on this is quite plain, but they did respect their own lives very much. It is this Russian rationality which made the system of mutually assured destruction work. It will not work, however, against people who want to be sent to the sloe-eyed virgins ASAP.
The rest of Scheer's column is a lecture on the complexity of evil, where we are instructed that evil cannot be killed with a stick. He also seems to suggest, strangely, that we should take a more Christian attitude towards the Muslim fanatics who wish to destroy us. Terrorists can be redeemed, it seems. Scheer points to Yasser Arrafat and Gerry Adams, among others, who he informs us were "once associated with 'terrorism'." Hmm. Is that right? Good thing they've completely renounced it, else the peace process in the Middle East and Northern Ireland wouldn't be going so smashingly well.
GREAT NEW LINKS! Let me know what I've missed. Also, check out the food links, including the Open Line Bulletin. I was looking for my grandmother's German fruitcake recipe last night. I wrote it in the back of a cookbook at some point and I was wracking my skull to figure out which one and where it might be. I realize many people suffer from fruitcake prejudice, but this cake is really good. The difference is that it's made with preserves, not candied fruit. Anyway, I finally gave up and did a google search for "german fruitcake preserves" and there it was in the Best of the Open Line Bulletin January 1974. Apparently, the OLB is a call-in radio recipe show that has online archives going back to 1963. We're talking recipes for all manner of Jello molds, Thousand Island Dressing Liver, Gum Drop Salad, and many other delicacies lately to be found only in the Gallery. Plus some really tasty sounding items as well and very interesting household hints, like how to make your own wallpaper paste and use hairspray to keep silver from tarnishing.
I love this stuff even though I never do any of it. I'm convinced that the whole Martha Stewart industry is pure homemaking pornography. Think about it. It's a bunch of stuff that looks really cool, and which you like to think about yourself doing at some point, but it's probably not going to happen.
AMERICAN TALIBAN UPDATE: Great piece in the Weekly Standard about The Boy Who Loved bin Laden. Upon learning that our friend, "Abdul" supported terrorist attacks on the USS Cole and the WTC, it's clear to me he knew exactly what he was doing. So, I'm once again in complete agreement with "The Best."
THEY DON'T GET IT. Interesting piece in the NYT about the tremendous success Fox News has had since September 11th. While the other network journalists fret about whether wearing a flag pin makes them Ashcroft's bitch, Fox reporters and commentators who openly voice their support of the United States war effort have been rewarded with increased market share and great ratings. The reason is that Americans are sick of moral equivalency. We can tell a terrorist from a freedom fighter and worry about anyone who can't. What journalists in a tizzy about covering the war in an "objective manner" do not grasp is that it is an objective fact that Osama bin Laden is an evil hatemonger and the Taliban were lying theocratic tyrants. It should be no wonder that at such a critical time in the nation's history, Americans are seeking out new outlets that tell the truth.
A REAL AMERICAN TALIBAN ŒHe¹s a really good boy¹ says the mom of the 20-year-old American captured in the Mazar-e-Sharif prison riot. Steven Den Beste believes the convert to Islam should be tried for treason for fighting in an army at war with the US. I have little sympathy for this idiot, but I wonder if it matters when he volunteered. It makes a big difference to me if someone signs up for the other side after war has been declared. I think he was already fighting with the Taliban on September 11th, in which case it might have been very dangerous to desert. Not as dangerous, perhaps, as staying in the Taliban. But I'm not sure if he is actually a traitor to his country.
Of course, he is obviously a traitor to our way of life. How could he stomach their treatment of women, after being brought up in Northern California by a Buddhist mother? Or the killing of civilians by the Taliban? Unlike many of the Pakistanis he was fighting with, he's not illiterate and he was brought up in a civil society. How could he reject all that to go make war on his fellow Muslims in Afghanistan? I think he should share the fate of the other Taliban prisoners, whatever that is.
HOLIDAY GOODIES This weekend I've been making my holiday gameplan-- the cards, the gifts, the treats. It has kept me from blogging much, but hopefully it will prevent a small nervous breakdown later this month. Planning is the only way to stay sane during "the most wonderful time of the year." Well, I must admit there is also the bah, humbug option of non-acknowledgement of holiday obligations. This is what my adorable husband does and it seems to work for him, as well.
Yesterday, I found a wonderful repository of holiday recipes at christmas.allrecipes.com. One delicacy was particularly intriguing. The name says it all: Saltine Toffee Cookies. Described as "an easy to make but wonderfully delicious treat," they are made by mixing together melted butter and brown sugar and then pouring it over, you guessed it, saltine crackers. These are then baked and topped with chocolate chips and nuts. It does sound delightfully easy. But does it belong in the Gallery of Regrettable Food? I can think of but one way to know for sure, and I'll let you know how they turn out.
Coming soon--food links and additional fantastic warblogs!